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    A panda bear walks into a restaurant:

    A panda bear walks into a restaurant.
    He orders the special and eats it.
    After eating, he pulls out a pistol, kills the waiter and starts to walk out the door.
    The owner of the restaurant says, "Hey, what are you doing? You come in here, you kill my waiter and walk away without saying a word.
    I don't understand."
    The panda says, "Look it up in the dictionary," and walks out the door.
    So the owner gets out a dictionary and looks under the heading "Panda". It reads

  • Poems

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    A friend is one who stands to share
    Your every touch of grief and care
    He comes by chance, but stays by choice
    Your praises he is quick to voice

    No grievous fault or passing whim
    Can make an enemy of him
    And though your need be great or small
    His strength is yours throughout it all

    No matter where your path may turn
    Your welfare is his chief concern
    No matter what your dream may be
    He prays your triumph soon to see

    There is no wish your tongue can tell
    But what it is your friend's as well
    The life of him who has a friend
    Is double-guarded to the end.

  • Quotes

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    How pleasant is Saturday night - Weekends Quotes How pleasant is Saturday night, When I've tried all the week to be good, And not spoke a word that was bad, And obliged everyone that I could. - Nancy Sproat

  • Jokes

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    Two cows are standing

    Two cows are standing in a field.
    One says to the other "Are you worried about Mad Cow Disease?"
    The other one says "No, It doesn't worry me, I'm a horse!"
    How can you tell if a man is happy?
    Woman : Who cares?!

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