• Trending SMS

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    A man goes to the doctor and says:

    A man goes to the doctor and says, "Doctor, wherever I touch, it hurts."
    The doctor asks, "What do you mean?"
    The man says, "When I touch my shoulder, it really hurts. If I touch my knee - OUCH! When I touch my forehead, it really, really hurts."
    The doctor says, "I know what's wrong with you - you've broken your finger!"

  • Poems

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    As words fall softly from your lips
    and land upon my ear;
    My mind and body are caressed,
    by every word I hear

    When I hear your sweet voice,
    my head begins to numb
    For this is what you do to me,
    and I like what I've become.

    So speak to me my sweet,
    I need to hear your voice,
    I've become a slave to it,
    I have no other choice.

  • Quotes

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    Middle age is when you're sitting at home | Weekends Quotes with Images Middle age is when you're sitting at home on a Saturday night and the telephone rings and you hope it isn't for you. - Ogden Nash

  • Jokes

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    Caught Speeding

    Caught Speeding
    Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
    Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
    Woman: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?
    Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
    Officer: Don’t have one?
    Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
    Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Woman: I can’t do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Woman: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
    to see.
    The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
    calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
    officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
    Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
    The woman steps out of her vehicle.
    Woman: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
    car and murdered the owner.
    Woman: Murdered the owner?
    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
    please.
    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
    Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
    The first officer is stunned.
    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
    license.
    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
    hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
    examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
    Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t
    have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
    up the owner.
    Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT!! told you I was speeding too.

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