• Trending SMS

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    Caught Speeding:

    Caught Speeding
    Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?
    Officer: Ma’am, you were speeding.
    Woman: Oh, I see.
    Officer: Can I see your license please?
    Woman: I’d give it to you but I don’t have one.
    Officer: Don’t have one?
    Woman: Lost it 4 times for drunk driving.
    Officer: I see…Can I see your vehicle registration papers please.
    Woman: I can’t do that.
    Officer: Why not?
    Woman: I stole this car.
    Officer: Stole it?
    Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.
    Officer: You what?
    Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want
    to see.
    The Officer looks at the woman, slowly backs away to his car, and
    calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior
    officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half drawn gun.
    Officer 2: Ma’am, could you step out of your vehicle please!
    The woman steps out of her vehicle.
    Woman: Is there a problem sir?
    Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this
    car and murdered the owner.
    Woman: Murdered the owner?
    Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car,
    please.
    The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but an empty trunk.
    Officer 2: Is this your car, ma’am?
    Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
    The first officer is stunned.
    Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a driving
    license.
    The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and
    hands it to the officer. The officer snaps open the clutch purse and
    examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.
    Officer 2: Thank you ma’am, one of my officers told me you didn’t
    have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked
    up the owner.
    Woman: Betcha the lying IDIOT!! told you I was speeding too.

  • Poems

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    You wiped away many tears,
    And even calmed many fears.

    You have kissed all sorts of parts,
    You even somehow healed broken hearts.

    You gave your love without a second thought,
    You gave lectures when our mistakes you caught.

    But you also gave hugs for no reason at all,
    You held us tight whenever a tear would fall.

    You gave us the courage to walk alone,
    You gave us the love of a real home.

    You endured many things just for our sake,
    Your love was genuine so much love would be hard to fake.

    You are truly a gift from God above,
    Only He could've made you with that much love

  • Quotes

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    How pleasant is Saturday night - Weekends Quotes How pleasant is Saturday night, When I've tried all the week to be good, And not spoke a word that was bad, And obliged everyone that I could. - Nancy Sproat

  • Jokes

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    Doctor, I think

    Patient: Doctor, I think that I've been bitten by a vampire.
    Doctor: Drink this glass of water.
    Patient: Will it make me better?
    Doctor: No, I but I'll be able to see if your neck leaks.

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